I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
