Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
