I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
