its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize