the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
