SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
