Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
