Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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