that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize