She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
