i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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