I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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