I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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