My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
