If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
