Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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