My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
