Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize