So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
