Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
