I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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