It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
please don't ironically join a cult
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