On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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