i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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