Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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