I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize