i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
