remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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