Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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