it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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