Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
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