Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
