therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize