Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Less talking, more tequila
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
