I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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