i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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