So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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