i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Randomize
