And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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