I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
