Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Someone signed my nipple.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
