Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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