I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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