she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
How external is "for external use only"?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
