then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
