i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
