Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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