I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Two words: blizzard sex
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
