Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
