Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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