I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
