I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
