In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
