WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Do you remember whose house we're in?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
