You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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