Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
