so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
