ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
