i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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