You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
