You're completely useless in the revolution.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
